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Showing posts from December, 2025

shy my last question If I Deserve Better, Why Didn’t I Deserve You?

You once said something to me that never really left You deserve better You did not say it in a harsh way You were not angry or frustrated You said it softly like you were trying to protect me For a long time I believed you I did not question it I did not argue I just accepted it like something that feels right but still hurts a little But silence makes you think a lot And the more I thought about your words the heavier they started to feel Because if I really deserved better why was that better never you That is the part I could never understand Because I never saw you as something less I never stayed because I was scared of being alone I never chose you because I had no other option I chose you because I wanted to Not loudly Not desperately Just clearly I chose your calm nature I chose the way you stayed quiet when things got hard I chose your distance even when I did not fully understand it I even chose the parts of you that did not let me in completely And I was okay with ...

The Pain I Am Still Carrying

The Day That Hurt Me the Most   I want to write about something that has been sitting heavy in my heart. It is not easy to talk about but maybe writing it will help me understand what I am feeling. On December 10 2025 I sent her a simple message. I told her that I wanted to leave the group because I did not want to make her uncomfortable. I thought I was doing the right thing by stepping away. I was not expecting anything from her. I only wanted peace for both of us. I wrote to her in a very calm and honest way and I thought she would understand my intention. But her reply surprised me and broke something inside me. She said she does not want to see me and she does not want to talk to me anymore. She also said she has a boyfriend and she asked me not to follow her. When I read those words I felt a strong pain in my chest. It was a moment where everything went silent inside me. I did not know how to react because I never thought she would speak to me like that. I always respected...