A Goodbye I Never Wanted
Beginning 
There are some people in life who come like a blessing. They do not just stay as a name on the phone or a face on the screen. They become a part of your daily life, a part of your thoughts, a part of your happiness. For me, Jenny was that person.
From the beginning, she was special. Not because she did something big, but because she was simple, calm, mature, and understanding. She always listened, she always replied kindly, even when I acted childish. With her, I felt free. With her, I felt safe. With her, I felt like I had a true good friend.
But today, as I write this, my heart is heavy. Jenny is no longer my friend. She blocked me on Instagram. She told me there are no more chances. And I know the reason—because of me, my behavior, my overthinking, my immaturity.
This blog is not written to force her. It is not written to ask again. It is only my diary of feelings, my truth. If she ever reads this, she should know: I always saw her as a good friend, and I still do.
How It Started to Break
Friendship never breaks in one day. It breaks slowly, step by step, mistake by mistake. With Jenny, I made many mistakes.
I overthought small things. If she didn’t reply quickly, I thought she was ignoring me. If she studied in another server, I felt jealous. If she talked to others, I felt left out. My heart wanted her attention all the time, but I forgot she also has her life, her space, her freedom.
Sometimes, I said too much. Sometimes, I begged for her time. Sometimes, I crossed the line without even knowing. She was patient many times. She was mature, calm, and she handled me better than I deserved. But every patience has a limit, and one day, that limit was crossed.
The Day I Lost Her
On 19th and 20th August 2025, everything changed.
I told her honestly:
“I just wanted to share my feelings. I’m scared of losing a friend like you. You are very important to me. I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but I hope we can stay friends forever.”
I thought she would understand my heart. I thought she would say, “Okay, we are still friends.” But instead, her reply came like thunder:
“Bro, I don’t wanna continue like that anymore.”
My heart broke in that one sentence. Still, I could not stop myself. I begged:
“Can we still be friends? I will be normal.”
She said:
“No.”
I said again:
“Please, just one chance. I was childish.”
She said:
“I don’t give opportunities to people who don’t know how to appreciate them.”
Each word from her felt like a knife. Still, I did not stop. I said, “I don’t want to end our friendship like this.”
She said:
“You should know, I’ve never treated anyone like that.”
And finally, she gave me her last advice:
“You should admit your mistakes, don’t blame others, and don’t treat the next person the way you treated me again. Otherwise, you will never have any good friendship or love in your life.”
After that, she said one word:
“Never.”
That was the end.
My Pain
Since that day, I feel empty. Losing Jenny is like losing a part of myself. She was not just “someone online.” She was my closest friend, my Dove, my calm place.
Now, I sit here with silence. No notifications from her. No “good night.” No simple “gl” before study. Just emptiness.
I replay her words again and again. They hurt, but they are true. She was right. I did not value her patience enough. I did not respect her space enough. I expected too much, and in that expectation, I lost her.
The hardest part is knowing she blocked me on Instagram. It means she doesn’t even want to see my name, my posts, my messages. That pain is deep.
Lessons She Gave Me
Even in goodbye, Jenny gave me something valuable: a lesson.
She told me to admit my mistakes.
She told me not to blame others.
She told me not to treat the next person like I treated her.
At first, these words felt like punishment. But now, I see them as guidance. She was teaching me, even in the last moment. She wanted me to grow, to change, to become better.
Maybe this was her gift to me. A hard gift, wrapped in pain, but still a gift.
Jenny, If You Ever Read This
Jenny, if somehow you read this blog, I want to say one thing: you will always be a good friend to me. No matter what happened, no matter how it ended, I will never forget the way you were there for me.
I am sorry for being childish. I am sorry for not respecting enough. I am sorry for every word that hurt you. I am sorry for begging again and again when you already said no.
I know you said never. I know you blocked me. I know you don’t want to continue. And I respect that. I will not disturb you again.
But Jenny, please know this: I never hated you, I never disrespected you. You were always special to me. And you will always remain in my heart as my good friend.
If one day you feel like talking again, I am here. You can reach me on my email: sachinlamesh@gmail.com. I will not beg this time. I will not push. I will only say that the door of my heart is always open for you, as a friend.
Moving Forward
Now, I must move forward. But moving forward does not mean forgetting. It means carrying the lesson, carrying the memory, and carrying the respect.
Jenny taught me patience. She taught me calmness. She taught me what true maturity looks like. And finally, she taught me responsibility.
I will not treat the next person like I treated her. I will not take patience for granted. I will not expect too much without giving space.
Her words will stay in my heart forever:
“Admit your mistakes, don’t blame others, and don’t treat the next person the way you treated me again.”
These words will guide me every day.
The Big Loss
I often think: why do we realize the value of someone only after losing them? Why do we act careless when they are there, and cry when they leave?
Jenny was my big loss. A loss I will always feel. A loss that cannot be replaced.
I know life will go on. I will study, I will become a doctor one day, I will meet new people. But somewhere inside, the memory of Jenny will stay. The girl who was once my closest friend, who gave me patience, and who finally left with a lesson.
Final Words
This blog is not about blaming Jenny. It is about blaming myself. It is about accepting my mistakes. It is about showing respect to a friend I lost.
Jenny, you may never come back. You may never even read this. But if you do, please remember:
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You were my good friend.
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You will always remain a good friend in my heart. I am sorry for everything.
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If you ever want to talk, my email is sachinlamesh@gmail.com and in Instagram as Sachinlamesh . i will wait for that day
This is all I can say now. Not to force you. Not to disturb you. Only to respect you and to thank you—for being part of my life, even if only for some time.
SEE U SOON SHY I TOLD U THAT I WILL MEET U WHEN I WILL BE SUCESSFUL
Jenny. You will always be remembered.
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