Trang and the Boy Lost in Delusion
Her name is Trang
She is not trying to be special
but for me, she is
Just the way she talks
the way she focuses in the study room
even the way she says little jokes
it feels different to me
I do not know when it started
but I know when I realized it
It was the moment I saw her laugh at his joke
Chunn's joke
That is when I knew
I am not the one she sees
Still, I stayed
My Little World
In that world, Trang notices me
She sees the small things I do
She smiles at me
She chooses me
But that world is not real
It is only mine
A small warm place I created
to escape the truth
This is what people call a delusion
And I live in it
The Truth Outside
In real life, she likes Chunn
I see it
I feel it
But I do not say anything
I act normal
I send a message, she replies kindly
But I know that kindness is for everyone
Not just me
Still, my heart thinks
maybe there is something more
I tell it to stop
But it does not listen
I Talk to Myself
Sometimes I look at her messages
Simple words like yes, ok, dont worry
but I read them like a poem
My heart adds meaning that is not really there
She says dont worry
My heart says she cares
She says yoo
My heart says she is happy to see me
But I know deep inside
she is just being nice
And I am just being foolish
Delusion Is Not a Lie
I know it is not real
But it does not feel fake
Delusion is not a lie
It is a soft dream your heart creates
when reality feels too cold
I do not want to break the dream
Not yet
Because in that dream
I am happy
She is close
And nothing hurts
I Wrote Something
I wrote a story
A story about a girl named Trang
And a boy who loved her silently
He never said the words
He never asked her to love him
He just watched
cared
waited
and dreamed
That boy is me
The story is my heart
She Read It
She did not say much
but she liked some parts
That was enough
I did not expect love
I did not hope for magic
I just wanted her to understand
Understand this delusion
the quiet fight between heart and truth
What I Really Feel
I do not want to steal her from Chunn
I do not want to force anything
I just wanted to exist in her world
Even as a background person
That is the sad beauty of delusion
You know the ending
but still you keep watching it in your mind
And sometimes
you even smile through it
Not a Confession
This is not a love confession
It is not a message saying please love me
This is just me
telling the truth inside me
Because hiding it hurts more
I am not asking for her heart
I am just giving her a piece of mine
Final Thought
Trang if you ever understand this
know that I am okay
Yes I had a delusion
A quiet one
One that made my days feel less lonely
But I will never blame you
You did not give me false hope
I created it myself
with my heart
and my own foolish wish
You are still the kind focused gentle girl
And I am still the quiet boy in the corner
who once dreamed a little too much
And now
I wake up
Even If She Never Looks Back
Some people wait for a reply
Some wait for love
But me
I just wait for a moment of understanding
A moment where maybe
Trang will know
There was someone who liked me
in a quiet delusional harmless way
He never asked for anything
He just cared
That is all
And that
is my small honest truth
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